So my writing buddy Patricia Lynne had an idea that she wanted to let out some confessions about her and her writing, and wouldn’t it be “fun” to get other writers and maybe even readers to participate and spill forth our deepest darkest secrets.
I don’t know about deepest and darkest, some things are kept secret for a reason, but I suppose I have more than enough that I could share some of the ones I have in regards to my writing.
Firstly, this isn’t the most tightly held secret (those close to me figured it out without me telling them) but one of my characters in Tears of a Clown was named after an ex of mine. I’m sure anyone who’s read the story can figure out which character it is. It allowed me to get out some frustrations and be immature and name call. I’m not the type to be nasty to someone to their face, so this was the next best thing! Haha! Therapeutic as well.
Secondly, I guess I would say I talk a good game here, about being positive and how great it is to be an indie author. I do believe that to a point, but other times my confidence is nil and I’m embarrassed to tell people I’m a self-published author. I guess I’m concerned, with the stigma that still exists, that others will judge my writing as not good enough to be published traditionally. Being that I never tried, I don’t really know if that’s true or not. I like what I write. I enjoy reading my own stories, but I often wonder if others really do. Sure they might say they do, but maybe they’re just being nice. Maybe they don’t want to hurt my feelings. Maybe they just don’t want to be the one tell me how bad it is.
It’s not so surprising, I suppose, considering my lack of confidence in just about everything I do. It’s always been a problem so why wouldn’t it translate into my writing as well? Sometimes I can get by, otherwise my work would never been seen by other eyes. But it’s not an easy thing for me and I don’t know that it ever will be. I just do the best I can and fake it ’til I make it.
Do you have any confessions you want to get off your chest? Did you name a character after someone you dislike just so you could kill them off? Do you have panic attacks at the thought of sharing your work? Join us and write your own post. Letting it out can be cathartic! If you join in, add your link by clicking on the cute blue frog head below so we can hop to your blog.