Since I’m busy writing, writing, writing (I’m half way through the first of 2 short stories), I figured I’d give you guys a sneak peek of what I’m working on.
Here’s the first chapter of the second story in the Errand Girl of the Undead short series: The Trouble with Zombies. Please remember, as per Nanowrimo “rules”, there is NO editing done. They encourage you to keep writing until the end of the month rather than stopping to edit things, so kindly look past typos, repetitiveness and grammar issues! Heh
There was a satisfying thud as the incessantly ringing alarm clock hit the wood floor. Sadly, it was still ringing loud enough to wake the dead. Thankfully, the dead in this house slept down a different hallway.
Groaning, I rolled over and groped for the power cord so I could make the deafening racket stop. I wished the inventor of the alarm clock had been turned just so I could kill them again for making the infernal device. Finally locating the cord, I gave it a strong tug and silence flooded the room. I mumbled a quick thanks to Edison and electricity before rolling back over and snuggling under the covers.
“Elvira Weston, you get out of that bed this instance. You’ll be late for school!” The use of my full name and the sternness of the tiny voice yelling in my ear made me immediately sit up, like Frankenstein’s monster. I knew better than to mess with Siobhan, my Bean-Tighe housekeeper. She may be small in stature, but she had more than enough tricks up her short sleeves to make me regret trying to catch five more minutes of precious, precious sleep.
“Alright, alright, I’m up.” I hoped she could understand my garbled words. The fact that she left my side and threw opened the curtains had me wondering if she didn’t understand or if she just wanted to make sure I stayed awake.
Why does school have to start at such an ungodly hour? Don’t they know some of us teens have jobs that keep us up to all hours of the night? I was awake until almost 3 AM, baking a cake in the shape of a stake for a client. No, not the kind of tasty steak that comes from a cute mooing cow–although that’d be a great cake idea for a vegetarian–, but the kind of stake used to kill a vampire. Funny, since my client was of the undead variety and wanted give the cake to their long time mate who is turning 205 tonight. Sometimes living a long life seems to lead to an extra warped sense of humor. I’m not planning on hanging around to see how it goes over with the recipient.
Baking wouldn’t normally take me hours, but the client requested I use bloodworms and leeches in the batter. I had to dig ‘em up and process them in order to add them the mix. I barely kept my dinner down and I definitely won’t be able to use that food processor for anything else ever again. Good thing I was smart enough to make a small tester cake, because the bugs made the cake all bumpy, which meant that I needed to process them into finer pieces. Think bug puree. I also had to wait for my guardian, Josiah, to come home so he could taste test it before I did the decorating. No way was I putting a piece of red velvet blood cake into my mouth. Gross. In the end, he pronounced it delicious and I decorated with fondant and royal icing to make it look incredibly realistic. I hope the client will be pleased. I rely heavily on repeat business. There are only so many Down Unders in the area, ya know?
Grabbing my favorite hot pink cropped sweater and denim skirt, I headed towards the shower. A quick blast of cold water would do the trick to keep my eyes opened. While quickly soaping up, I started going over my schedule for the day:
7AM-3PM School as usual
3PM-6PM Pick up ten bags of O Neg at the blood bank, buy four loaves of bread and three gallons of milk for a group of fae, need to grab a bag of pig ears and snouts for the hell hounds and some flea powder for Tyler (the poor guy picked them up during his last romp in the woods)
7PM-9PM Dinner and homework and returning any calls that come into the business
9:30PM Drop off the stake cake
A long day for sure, but my bank account will be fat and sated. I’m proud of my baby, my Errand Girl of the Undead, business. It’s in the black and thriving as I’m running around doing things for the neighborhood vamps, weres, faeries and demons. When my vampire guardian, Josiah, suggested I take over running his daily errands so his human retainer could retire, I had no idea it would blossom into such a successful business. Who knew Down Unders needed so much help with daily life errands?
“Hurry up, lass or you won’t have time for breakfast.” Siobhan’s voice floated through the pounding sound of the shower.
“Coming!” I lathered up my blonde hair wondering, not for the first time, if I should just cut it short so it would take less time to get ready. Nahhh. The long locks are part of my signature look.
“Yes Elvira, please do hurry it up. I’m hungry for a peek, I mean for breakfast,” came an annoyingly familiar voice, its timber low and smooth.
Without looking, I whipped the bar of soap around the shower curtain, aiming for the sound of the voice. When I caught of whiff of sulfur, I knew the jerk had teleported before I could hit him.
“Quit being a perv and don’t call me Elvira!” I yelled, knowing he hadn’t gone far. The responding laugh sounded from just beyond the closed door. “Stupid Samson,” I mumbled while turning the faucet off. I was sure to wrap the towel tight around me before stepping out. I didn’t smell him come back in, but I wasn’t taking the chance of giving him a peep show.
Samson was…well, I’m not sure what I’d call him other than a pain in the ass. His blue furry butt has been in my life for as long as I could remember. He was a part time nanny when I was little, friend until I hit my teen years and now? Well, I’m not exactly sure where we stand now. There’s typically annoyance, sarcasm and lewd behavior between us, but other times I see glimpses of something else. Something I’m not sure I can name, or want to put a name to.
Sighing, I double checked the lock–not that a lock would keep out a teleporting demon–before dropping the towel and lotioning up.
“It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again,” I said absentmindedly to myself.
“Are you preparing yourself to be skinned?” Samson asked from behind the closed door. Stupid demon hearing.
I banged a fist on the door. “Go away and let me get ready.” I heard a heavy sigh and the sound of feet shuffling away, knowing he was just putting a show on for me. Samson was more stealthy than a cat and a ninja combined.
“I would wear you any day.” Samson’s voice surrounded me a fraction of a second before I smelled the sulfur that accompanied his teleportation.
Without a second thought, my fist swung back and I caught him in the thigh, exceedingly close to his delicate bits. He hissed in pain and popped out before I could take another swing.
“Next time, I won’t miss!” I yelled into the air. Sneaky demon. Place your bets on me, folks. One of these days I’m going to be the one to get the jump on him and I assure you, it won’t be pretty.